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It’s very easy to point fingers at others and say, ‘you are the problem’, or ‘you are the one who’s got it all wrong’, or ‘he/she is the one who…’. We never take the time to look at ourselves and ask, ‘what am I contributing to this situation and what can I do to improve it?’ It seems like we all don’t want to own our behavior or take responsibility of the choices make and actions we take. Having said that, this article is in no way stipulating that these are generalizations among women; rather this is a personal reflection, experiences and observation, therefore I take full ownership and responsibility of the ideas I share as they are my original and personal work.

 I whine/Complain

I whine when it’s hot, cold, raining or dry.
I whine when I’m hungry, I whine when I’m full.
I whine when I’m tired and I whine when I’m energetic

Such is life, but when I complain but not want to do anything about my situation, something is not ok…

I can never have enough shoes, handbags and jewellery

Matching shoes and bagsWhy I can’t have enough, I don’t know…even when I only wear 3 out of the 20 pairs I have. I need that shoe to match my earrings and bracelet.I need that handbag to match my belt. And that shoe to match my headband… you get the idea? I’m not saying it’s good or bad, don’t get me wrong here. Truth be told, matching shoes, bags and earrings look great!

I gossip

By the way, it is NOT GOSSIP, I am only informing my friends about my/our other friend, ok? Not that I want any constructive feedback from them to resolve the matter, no. I guess I just want to discredit the other person, make them look bad. Not great, not noble, not right, but I keep finding myself doing it, damn.

 ‘I’m fat’

Is my everyday phrase and story, whether I’m a size 10 or 8 or 6…hmph! No matter how much weight I lose, I still whine about being fat. Instead of appreciating who I am, or at least celebrating my ability to lose some weight, I still complain about why my nose or fingers look fat…hmmm.

 I feel insecure

I am always mindful of what others say about me and never what I know about myself. And when it’s my friends of the opposite sex, it makes matters even worse and my esteem gauge just drops to zero, can you imagine?!

Thankfully, all these are behaviors can be changed if need be. I don’t need to be like this, I can choose to be and act differently, in a way that is more productive. And this is not a generalization, so not all women are like this, but if you are like me, you should be  doing things differently by now; not for anyone per say, but for yourself. I work on me to become a better me for myself. I realize that my state of being affects me and the people around me; if I’m a happy person, I send out happy vibes, and if I’m grumpy, that’s exactly the kind of vibes I transmit and as such making life suck. My only hope is that I choose to nurture behaviors that build me up and not bring me down, attitudes that are positive and not negative, a life that is optimistic, happy, productive and not insecure and boring.